How will I be remembered?

mom and boy kiss PAID

The death of my mother earlier this month had me reminiscing about all the wonderful things I love about her and got me thinking about what do my kids love about me?  When I’m gone what will they remember most?  And how do I want to be remembered?  Do the two perspectives match?

I want to be remembered for:

Singing Slip Sliding Away and Under the Boardwalk at bedtime.
Making up bedtime stories that started with “Once upon a time there were two little boys and they decided to go on an adventure…”
Reading The Giving Tree ten thousand times.
Waking the boys up to watch the eclipse of the moon through the telescope.
Giving my boys a big pot of dirt and a pitcher of water and letting them make mud.
Contorting my body into forts made with blankets draped across chairs.
Waiting at the bus stop with a big umbrella on those really messy days.
Making up silly songs with their names:  Jer-a-me-a, Jer -a-mi-a ate the pumpkin and the pie-a…and Mr. Jake caught a snake in the lake with a rake.♪♫
Reclining back in deck chairs under blankets watching for meteors shooting across the sky.
Cheering on the sidelines at all the soccer, baseball, football and basketball games.
Noticing the colors of the sky and the shapes of the clouds.
Giving hugs even when my boys tower over me by a foot.
Staying cool when the first girlfriend comes over and not asking her a million questions.


When I asked them what they would remember most about me, they said:

You keep me safe, even if it’s annoying how you always want to know where I am all the time.
You’re nice to strangers.
You don’t lie, that’s for sure.
You love everyone and always see the good in people.
You’re enjoyable to be around.

I found it interesting that I remember specific incidences and they remember more along the lines of values that I model.  But hey, that’s cool, I know they’re watching and absorbing.  And hopefully they will remember the same thing I remember about my mom, something you can’t always put your finger on but you just feel in your heart and when you do it brings a smile to your face…her mom essence!


Try your own experiment and see if how you want to be remembered is how your kids are already starting to remember you.

  1. Make a list of how you want to be remembered.
  2. Depending on the ages of your kids, ask them what they will remember about you when you’re gone or ask them what they love most about you now.
  3. WATCH THIS VIDEO for some heartwarming hope that our kids see past our imperfections and will remember most of all–our love.


  1. Thank you Sherri for opening and sharing your heart with us.

    Mothers are precious, and it is sometimes the case that we really see them for who they were as a person – instead of as a mother – AFTER they have passed away. That was my experience. All of us are precious, in our own individual ways. If only we could accept, see, and celebrate each person in this way. WOW – our world would be different. It starts one person at a time.

    Happy holidays to you and your family Sherri,


  2. Sherri Boles-Rogers says:

    James, I like your expansive view of seeing and celebrating each person as precious no matter what roles they took on in this life. And yes, if we truly saw this in every person then I think the world would be different and we would be living Thomas Merton’s words: “I suppose the big problem would be that we would fall down and worship each other.”

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