Week 5 Nugget: Communication that Builds Relationship


There is a strong correlation between cooperation and connection. The level of cooperation you get from your child is more or less equal to the level of connection your child feels with you. So the goal of Connection Parenting classes is to increase connection which in turn increases cooperation and decreases negative behavior. It’s a much more joyful way of parenting because it is both proactive and responsive. And when I say it decreases negative behavior, I mean for you too! For you, the parent, it results in less yelling, lecturing, threatening and bribing…and more positive modeling for your child.
In this 7-part email series, I will share a “nugget” from each class. To learn more about this parenting approach join Connection Parenting classes starting Jan. 9, 2018 at the Dunwoody Nature Center.  

There are two parts to communication: expressing and listening. The way we express, and even the way we listen, creates either connection or disconnection. If we really want our kids to listen to us then we need to express ourselves in ways that invite them in and keep the door of communication open.

In the fifth class of this parenting series, we learn 14 Connecting Communication skills. A simple one is to say yes instead of no as often as possible. A recent study found that young children hear the word “no” an average of 400 times a day. Can you imagine hearing “no” directed at you that many times a day?!
Telling your child what they can do instead helps build healthy self-esteem. You can often reframe a no into a yes and still get the same end result. Instead of saying, “No you can’t have candy now,” you can turn it into “Yes you can select a piece of candy as soon as we finish dinner.” Instead of, “No, we didn’t come to the store to buy a toy today,” you can rephrase it as “Wow that’s a cool toy. It can go on your Christmas list if that’s what you want” or “We just have to figure out a way for you to make extra money so you can get it.” If you pay attention, you can catch yourself before you say “no” and reframe it into a “yes” that works for you.  (see Do you have a “NO” default?)
Would you like to learn more and experience for yourself how integrating these practices into your daily family life will reduce conflict, meltdowns, and defiance and increase cooperation, peace and harmony? Sign up for Connection Parenting starting Jan. 9, 2018 at Dunwoody Nature Center.

Connection Parenting Certified Facilitator
Sherri Boles-Rogers is an ACPI Certified Parenting Coach and Social Emotional Learning Specialist. She is a parenting educator and blogger at ParentingHeart.com. Sherri became certified to teach Connection Parenting in 2011 and the course has become one of the most popular parenting courses she teaches.
Sherri’s unique parenting approach shifts the focus from managing behaviors to nurturing relationships. In working with many parents, she has found that most behavior modification tools lose their effectiveness by age 12 (try counting to three with an adolescent or putting a teen in time-out!). Her proactive parenting approach teaches parents the specific tools needed to put in place a solid foundation (while the children are young) which will carry the family through toddlerhood, adolescence, the teenage years…and beyond! This relationship-based foundation helps decrease the struggles and increase the joys of parenting!

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